The Order Queen and Princess
by minerva's-kitten
Summary: It's quite simple.... You may look but you may not touch Albus' left and right hands! Just a bit of silliness and OoCs


_It's quite simple.... You may look but you may not touch Albus' left and right hands!_

_This is all just a bit of silliness. AND I SAY THIS NOW....IF YOU DON"T LIKE IT DON"T READ IT OR REVIEW IT!! I"M SO SICK OF PEOPLE THAT REVIEW SOMETHING THEY HATED!_

_

* * *

  
_

_**The Order Queen and her Princess**_

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Kingsley sighed.

He was entering Grimmuald Place with none other than Kenneth Ramsfield and his son Rupert. Kenneth was the Keeper to the London Lions and a notorious playwizard. He was a great womanizer and only ever dated women ages 18 to 66. It was terrible. His son Rupert was one in training. He was an auror and was learning all there was to learn from his father.

"Come one Shakelbolt we're good people that just want to help the winning team," Kenneth grinned in his rich voice.

"And it has nothing to do with the women," Kingsley mocked.

"Maybe a little," Rupert chuckled.

Kingsley rolled his eyes heaven ward asking for strength as he entered the kitchen.

When the door opened the other assembled order members looked up to see sixty-nine year old Kenneth Ramsfield and his forty-four year old son Rupert enter with Kingsley Shakelbolt.

Kenneth was tall with a broad muscular figure and short golden hair with hazel eyes. He wore maroon robes.

His son was also tall but with lean muscles. His hair went to his shoulder and was held in a ponytail at the nape of his neck; it was blonde. He had a scraggy beard and blue eyes wearing blue robes that made his eyes pop.

As soon as they entered Kingsley quickly left them and went to stand by Sirius, Remus, and Alastor.

"What the bloody hell are they doing here?" Moody growled.

"Rupert cornered me today at work," Kingsley sighed, "I just thought maybe we could let them see one or two and then obliviate them."

"Yeah and what do you plan to do with Minerva? I bet you anything they'll go after her," Moody stated.

"Surely not…I mean…she…well she's a …"

"She's a very gorgeous woman that no one outside of this order knows is married," Remus stated, "And if you'll excuse me I should go rescue my girlfriend." He added walking over to Tonks and wrapping his arms around her kissing her cheek.

Sirius and the others saw Rupert's face deflate before walking off.

They chuckled at the man just as the fire came to life and in step one of the loveliest yet eccentric creatures to date. Moody saw Kenneth and Rupert's mouths immediately water.

The woman of twenty-one was tall with smooth legs that went on for miles. Her skin had the perfect porcelain coloring to it and was completely scar or blemish free. Her lips were as red as the most perfect red rose and her hair was blacker than night. It was in luscious curls that fell to her middle back and shimmer in the light. Her eyes were green slits like a cat's and her curves were phenomenal though she was slim. She had a rather large set of breasts.

She was going around the room shaking and dancing as she listened to the music coming from her I-pod. She had a yellow scarf in her hair and was wearing black leather paints with a royal purple long sleeved shirt and a short red half jacket.

She was just dancing by the two men when they grabbed her.

"Kingsley my dear friend who is this delectable morsel?" Kenneth shouted.

Everyone turned and several looked nervous as they saw the girl's eyes glow before it stopped and she smiled a brilliant white smile. Her canine's looked slightly sharper than normal.

"Uh Kenneth, Rupert this is Asphodel Raven…also known as Cobra," Kingsley introduced with a strained expression.

"Well she is the most gorgeous creature I've seen. Why have you not told us about her?" Kenneth asked as he put the girl on his arm and walked off.

It was in that moment that Minerva McGonagall flew in with a man of twenty-one that was tan, tall, and with lean muscle. His hair was get black that he had gelled in a stylish way and his eyes were a green grey. He was wearing tight girl looking blue jeans with a pink button down shirt and grey vest that he paired with black jewelry. He was handsome but it was extremely clear what side of the field he played for.

"You would have to be the voluptuous and spicy Minerva McGonagall," Rupert grinned kissing the woman's hand and wrapping it around his arm.

She rose and eyebrow at him and looked up to see Cobra on the arm of a very much older men listening to him drawn on about himself.

"Yes I would have to be," Minerva said through gritted teeth.

Molly watched all of this with a twinge of anger and apprehension. She dreaded what would happen when Albus appeared.

"Should be a good show eh Molly?" the young man with the jewelry grinned leaning on the counter she was chopping vegetables on.

"What are you talking about Will?" Molly sighed though she knew very well.

"Uncle's temper tantrum. He's not sane with my dearest Aunt and Cousin are concerned. I'm betting he looses it big time…even after my cousin," William laughed.

On cue Albus entered and the meeting began. If the headmaster thought it strange his best spy and Deputy had strange men on their arms; one vastly younger and one vastly older he said nothing.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

Asphodel Esmeralda Raven was named for a deadly plant. She lived up to her name she was proud to say it but today she hated being good. She'd give anything to put the old man and his pretentious son in their places. Listening to them talk about how great they were and how they'd love to have them.

As she contemplated the best way to kill the…rats for lack of a better word; as she contemplated this she felt a warm flow of magic wrap itself around her and calm her. She looked up and saw Albus Dumbledore staring at her.

"Asphodel would you care to report?" Albus asked.

"Nothing much to say sir. But I suggest Hogwarts be on its toes when your new Professor arrives….pink is not a good color for the school," she stated.

"Thank you my dear," Albus nodded, "With that I close this meeting."

Everyone began dispersing for a few moments before supper as the children came in and Asphodel grabbed a spot in between Moody and Black.

"Oh I wish I was not so inclined to do as my father always tells me too," the girl swore.

"Did you realize that your mother and father have the same age difference as you and Kenneth?" Black smirked.

"Not funny," Asphodel growled.

"Hey Dellie!!" William called waving her over to where he, Rupert, Tonks, and Remus where.

"I'm going in," Asphodel sighed dramatically as she headed over.

She walked over to the group smiling.

"What's up?" she asked.

"See Remus just look at her. She runs three miles a day and she still keeps the puppies in their place. She's just like her mother," William grinned putting his hands over his cousin's breasts.

"Yeah and if you were anyone else you'd be paralyzed from touching those," Remus laughed with his arm around Tonks.

"Not really you could touch them I'm sure," Will laughed.

Rupert had a hungry look in his eyes staring at the girl's chest.

"Eyes up Mr. Ramsfield," Asphodel sighed.

"See I told you. She's just like her mother," William laughed wrapping his arms around Asphodel and kissing her neck.

"Who is?" Minerva asked.

"I am apparently like my mother," Asphodel grinned, "in the looks department."

"Well you have her legs and um….other parts," William smirked pulling his lightweight cousin off her feet.

"I do not want to know how you know that," Remus shuddered.

"You see a lot when you walk in on a dress sess…"

he was silenced my Asphodel's hand on his mouth.

"Kids say the dernedest things don't they?" she smiled.

Molly called dinner just then so the uncomfortable conversation stopped.

William placed Asphodel in her customary seat to Albus' left just as Kenneth took Albus' seat and Rupert sat to the girl's left. Minerva took her seat and the two women shared a distressed look with each other as Albus stood over Kenneth.

Both women looked at him imploringly but he merely went down the table and sat in between Remus and Sirius.

* * *

"So tell me Asphodel dearest love have you ever had a man?" Rupert asked dipping the girl's plate.

"That is none of your concern sir," Asphodel stated standing.

She took her plate and left the room stating something about it being to stuffy in the room.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

"No fun being a sex kitten is it?" Sirius laughed as he came into the sitting room. He found Asphodel lying on her stomach on the floor looking at the fire.

"Especially with those sleaze balls," Asphodel sighed.

"I can only imagine what your mother is thinking," Sirius laughed.

"I assure you she's thinking the same thing as me…. 'What the bloody hell!?'" Asphodel said laughing. Sirius laughed with her as he sat on the floor.

The two good friends spent the rest of the time in the sitting room conversing with each other and she left before Rupert and Kenneth good get to her.

* * *

A week later Asphodel floo to the Order meeting and again as she saw the two men.

"Asphodel you foxy little minx," Kenneth grinned bringing her into a kiss.

A gasp went around the room and something hit the floor shattering.

Everyone could see that her eyes were open and glowing brightly. A bright light flashed from her and the man was thrown into a wall.

"Don't ever touch me!" she snapped as she hurried to the men in the corner.

They all engulfed her into their circle like a swarm of bees or ants protecting the queen.

Rupert helped his father up and Kenneth grinned, "I like them spicy."

Rupert laughed as Minerva and Albus entered.

"Minerva over here!" Kingsley stated as he walked up and swept the professor away into the group that had Asphodel was in.

Albus raised an eyebrow at how everyone was surrounding the professor and her child like a secret service protecting the queen and princess but said nothing and walked over to chat with the students who were getting to stay for this meeting; it wasn't a big one.

"Have I missed something?" Albus asked.

"The troops are protecting their majesties. Del flooed in and that Ramsfield man, the old one, snogged her!" Ron stated.

"What?" Albus blinked.

"Yeah and then all the Order men swept her up over there and they grabbed Professor McGonagall before either could do anything with her," George nodded.

"Dumbledore old man how is everything?" Kenneth asked as he and his son came over. They couldn't get to the two women so they'd figure they wait.

"I've been better," the Professor mumbled.

"That little tart will scream very well soon," Kenneth said not realize who he was talking with.

"Look at that a foot right in the mouth," Fred whispered.

"She's flexible I'm sure being the youngest multi-animagus. And that rack is something," Rupert stated.

"Matching father and son feet in mouth," Harry whispered.

"Of course I bet Minerva and Asphodel both need a good shag the way they act. My son and I will have them relaxed and craving us by the end of the day," Kenneth stated and Rupert grinned.

"I didn't think it possible but you can put two feet in your mouth," George replied and the others laughed but their amusement was silenced when Kenneth was knocked in the jaw and went down hard.

Rupert tried to defend his father but he was punched in the gut and before either man knew what happened they were raised in the air and dumped like a pile of bricks that hit the ground with sickening crunches.

"Touch my wife and child again and I won't be so nice,' Albus said calmly as he strolled over to the group.

They parted like the red sea as he swept Asphodel in a hug and kissed her head.

"Daddy you're always my hero!" she smiled with child innocence. He grinned and placed her down as Minerva looked at him with her infamous glare.

"Feel like a big man now don't you," she stated.

"Only if you were turned on," he stated.

"Of course I was," she smiled as he enveloped her in a loving and passionate kiss.

"Now that is awesome…and the best part is mum's expecting again!" Asphodel stated.

"What!?" Albus blinked breaking the kiss much to Minerva's displeasure.

"Yep…oh I thought…oops sorry mum!" Asphodel stated.

"Its fine dearest," Minerva stated and looked at the order members, "Can I get some cover please."

"Our pleasure Minerva," several people stated as they turned their backs to the couple and closed around them again.

"As you see it's clear you're not wanted," Moody stated.

"But I…we…how were we supposed to know?" Rupert stated standing holding his broken arm gingerly.

"Oh come on it's obvious Del and Aunt Minerva look just alike and seriously if you didn't notice how they look at Albus you two need glasses," William stated.

"So ta-ta and good bye," William smiled as he obliviated them and pushed them out.

"Willie you are my gay hero!" Asphodel stated jumping into his arms.

"Oh good I'm moving up on the list," William laughed.

"You guys are nuts," Ron sighed and everyone laughed as the floo came to life and they realized Minerva and Albus left.

"Who wants chocolate!?" Asphodel asked conjuring brownies.

**THE END**


End file.
